


Something Resembling Acceptance

by faerierequiem



Category: Jongens | Boys (2014)
Genre: Gen, M/M, don't know how to tag sieger and eddy's dad but he's a character in this too, marc is always in sieger's thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23222974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faerierequiem/pseuds/faerierequiem
Summary: Sieger doesn’t meant to cry when he tells them.He hadn’t cried with Stef, but Stef had known already. Figured it out at training camp. It’d been easy, sitting at Stef’s house, eating croquettes, and trying to ignore the heat as they played video games.Eddy and his dad, on the other hand, is not-so-easy.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	Something Resembling Acceptance

Sieger doesn’t meant to cry when he tells them.

He hadn’t cried with Stef, but Stef had known already. Figured it out at training camp. It’d been easy, sitting at Stef’s house, eating croquettes, and trying to ignore the heat as they played video games. Sieger had promised himself: He would tell Stef if his best friend beat him in the next round. Stef won. The two words had been more mumbled than he planned, but Stef had understood, given Sieger a good-natured rub in the arm, and told him to not look too much like a lover boy around Marc. Sieger had laughed, surprised and relieved all at once. It’d been so easy.

Eddy and his dad, on the other hand, is not-so-easy. Sieger puts off telling them for months. He practiced telling his mom, had stood in front of her photo in the living room, his fingernails digging into his palms, when no one else was in the house. The first time, he had been unable to say anything at first, only been able to repeat the words to himself in his head, until it slipped out as a whisper, sounding timid and hopeless even to his own ears. The second time, he had been able to say it, a bit more confidently, and his mom smiled back at him, reassuring almost, but sometimes Sieger wondered if her reaction would’ve been different and then he felt awful for thinking like that, had put the doubt from his mind and continued practicing—as if that’ll help prepare him.

It doesn’t.

He only means to tell his dad, but Eddy appears at the door and Sieger wishes he hadn’t put it off for so long, that he told his dad before Eddy got the time to get off of work and come home, but Sieger is too nervous, pacing around his room and only able to come downstairs when his dad tells him that dinner is ready. And now here he is, at the dining table, the eyes of his brother and his dad on him because he has told them he has something to say, but he can’t say it. He sees Eddy glancing at their dad with an eyebrow raised, questioning and confused, as if their dad knows why Sieger can’t speak, and their dad looks at Sieger, his brows beginning to furrow in concern.

Sieger hadn’t cried with his mom, but the living part of his family is more intimidating and Sieger doesn’t even know when the crying starts, just knows that there are tears going down his cheeks and that he’s trying hard not to make any sounds. He hears Eddy and his dad speaking, asking about school or bullies. Sieger sniffs, wishes they could guess correctly, say the words for him so that he doesn’t have to say it, and the little frustration that he feels manages to push the words out of him.

“I’m gay.”

He stares down at the table, not wanting to see the expressions on his dad and Eddy’s faces. The silence that follows afterwards is like a shout. Even the sound of silverware against plates has stopped as the eating comes to a halt. Sieger wants to wipe his cheeks dry, but his hands are shaking in his lap and he doesn’t want to lift them up.

He wants to talk about Marc and how happy Sieger is with him, but he can’t find the voice to speak with. Instead, he thinks of how Marc has visited the house on five separate occasions, but all those times under the guise of being that friend from track. He wants to tell them that he lied about that. Marc is his boyfriend, has been since summer ended, and Sieger doesn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. Even though Marc told him it was okay to take his time, Sieger feels like he’s failed and that disappointment in himself makes him cry even harder. He’s unable to stop the sounds that escape from him.

Eddy is the first to talk, his voice twisting out around a snarl. “Fucking hell, Sieg. Stop crying.”

Sieger wishes that he could stop. He’s halfway there to excusing himself from the table and locking himself in his room until he’s dry of any tears, but his voice still isn’t working, so he focuses on trying to stop the tears instead. It’s difficult. He starts to hiccup, his chest shaking with uneven breaths. He wants to be running or doing push-ups or anything else. He wants to see Marc.

“Sieg.” His dad leans over to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “It’s alright.”

He shakes his head. He doesn’t know what he’s shaking his head to. No, it’s not alright? It should be. It’s more than alright. But it’s not at the same time. Sieger wonders how long this discomfort will follow him. He doesn’t want to be revolted at himself because of this. He doesn’t understand how something that can make him happier than he has been in years can cause him to also feel this way. It shouldn’t. There’s nothing wrong with his relationship with Marc and how Marc makes him feel and how he feels for Marc. There’s probably something wrong with him.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” his dad says.

Sieger wipes his cheeks dry, frustrated. Frustrated about what? He doesn’t know. “Doesn’t it make things weird?”

“It’ll take some time to get used to,” his dad says, slowly. “But it’s not weird.”

He hears Eddy let out a rough exhale. “It could be worse. It’s not like you’ve murdered someone.”

Sieger almost doesn’t register that something resembling acceptance is going on. He’s surprised, but more relieved. Little by little, his fears are starting to crumble, still very much there, but the sharp edges are falling off. A laugh that is more of a huff falls out of him. “Yeah, I haven’t.”

“Then stop crying for something you’re not going to go to jail for,” Eddy says.

That sounds like a rule Eddy would live by. Sieger can’t help but laugh for real. “I thought you were going to throw me in jail for it.”

Eddy kicks him underneath the table. “Keep talking and I might.”

“No one’s going to jail,” their dad says.

Sieger bites down on his mashed potatoes to keep his smile from widening. He can’t wait to tell Marc how things went.

**Author's Note:**

> abrupt ending i know, but i don't know what else to add and that seems like a spot i can end on.
> 
> i wanted to write about sieger coming out to his dad and brother, so this came along as a result. actually started writing this last summer, but didn't revisit it until now and wrote up the last half of this. it's been a while since i've written something for this movie, but i still love it a lot and it deserves more fanfics. i hope this was somewhat enjoyable.


End file.
